Not My Fault You Didn't Check the Calendar
by CamsthiSky
Summary: It's Mandatory Family Day and Dick just wants everyone to pick something to do. It'd be nice if Jason didn't try to run away, too. Day 1 of batfam week


**I meant to post this Monday, and then that didn't happen. So yeah. Here we go.**

* * *

"What about the zoo?" Dick asks. He braces his arms on the island counter top and leans forward, forcing an easy-going smile on his face. Dick's eyes flick from person to person, and the smile falls just a little. "No? Just me?"

"Just you," Jason repeats, practically glowering from where he's leaning against the wall. "Pick something else."

"Oh come on," Dick whines, straightening up. "Everybody likes the zoo."

 _"You_ like the zoo," Stephanie corrects, crossing her arms over her chest. " _Damian_ likes the zoo. And so does Bruce for some reason."

"Pick something else," Cass says, her tone leaving no room for argument.

Dick can't help but sigh, slouching a little more into the island. "Fine. What about the new amusement park they opened a couple months ago?"

Stephanie taps her chin like she's actually thinking about it, but Dick still wonders. Jason looks a little less disgruntled, but otherwise unmoved. Cass just keeps a small smile on her face that gives away absolutely nothing. Seriously, Dick would really like it if they would work with him. He's _trying!_

He wonders what he has to do to get them to agree with him.

"C'mon, please?" Dick practically begs. "We _have_ to go out. We need to do something."

Jason snorts. "Says who?"

Stephanie sniggers right alongside Jason. "Didn't you look at the calendar?"

"We have a calendar?"

"Oh, that's right. You refused to have your phone added to Dick's ridiculous calendar."

"Probably a good thing," Cass interrupts. "He wouldn't have come if he'd known."

Stephanie blows out a breath that sounds way more amused than exasperated. "Oh yeah, no doubt about that."

"It's mandatory family day," Dick cuts in, looking at Jason more than the girls. He doesn't want to admit that they're probably right. "We have to do something as a family. _All_ of us."

There's about five seconds of silence before Jason lunges for the door leading to the gardens, and Dick barely manages to snag him around his waist before he tugs Jason away from the doorknob. Jason's bigger than him and a lot stronger than him, but Dick manages to keep him back, right up Jason stops straining forward and they both tumble backwards with Dick's momentum, Jason landing on top of Dick.

Dick's breath leaves him with an _"oof"_ and they stay like that for a moment.

"I'm not gonna be a part of any of your shit," Jason says, content to be a big nuisance on top of Dick. "I came over because the Replacement promised me that Alfred was making my favorite."

"He is," Stephanie promises, and she's not even trying to hide her smile, "but pretty much only because you weren't going to come any other way."

Jason sighs. "Of fucking _course."_

"Will you get off me?" Dick huffs, pushing at Jason's shoulders. He can probably land Jason flat on his ass, but that will probably lead to Jason storming off in a rage, and that's exactly what Dick's trying to avoid here, so he doesn't do anything but wait until Jason's rolling off him. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," Jason says. "I'll stay for your mandatory family day, but only 'cause I'm getting good food."

Dick laughs, Cass giggles, and Stephanie's grinning like a shark. Jason looks a little annoyed, but somewhere underneath that irritation, Jason's probably chuckling, too, so he takes it as a win.

"So," Dick says from the kitchen floor, "the zoo? Rollercoasters?"

"How about a movie?" a new voice says, and Dick tilts his head back to see Bruce, Tim, and Damian in the entryway, varying levels of bemusement on their faces (wow. Dick did not know that Damian could look _that_ disgusted when looking at him. That has to be some sort of record).

"Oh," Steph says, "I could go for a movie. Timmy, help me make the popcorn!"

Tim rolls his eyes and goes for the pantry. Dick grins, because it looks like it's decided. Movie it is.

"What are you two doing on the floor?" Bruce asks, still staring at where Dick and Jason are sprawled next to each other. When all he gets is a grumble from Jason and a bigger smile from Dick, he sighs. "As long as nothing's broken."

"Bones or kitchen utensils?" Tim asks from the microwave. He's juggling eight bags of popcorn. Wow.

"Either," Bruce says, and he looks tired.

Damian's still staring at Dick, and Dick thinks it's time to stand up now. "Hey, Little D," Dick says as he pushes himself to his feet. He brushes himself off. "What movie were you thinking?"

"I can't believe you, Grayson," Damian says instead of answering his question. "I didn't think you were the type to—"

Stephanie claps her hands as she hisses something at Tim, interrupting Damian before he can finish his statement, and Dick can't help but laugh at the downright betrayed look Damian throws Steph. It's gold. Jason's still on the ground, and it doesn't look like he's getting up anytime soon. Steph and Tim are arguing over popcorn while Cass watches on in amusement, Damian looks disgruntled, but there's something settled in his gaze as it sweeps over the kitchen, and Bruce—well. Bruce looks tired, but he doesn't look like he's regretting taking any of them in, so Dick takes it as a win.

Family day is looking like a success.


End file.
